Sam's Stories

  Everyone has someone they look up to. It could be their own mother, father, or a cousin. For others it could be a celebrity such as Morgan Wallen or Taylor Swift . They are what I like to call their kings or queens. My king happens to be my best friend. This man is my king because there is a sense of royalty to him. When we were children, every time I heard the words “I don’t know,” it drove me bananas. Now I see, he did this because my king would not give me an answer until he knew. My king taught me there’s not always an answer. My king also showed me how to not get angry at others when no one did anything. I’ll admit it, I have not 100% mastered this skill. Yesterday is a great example of of of when I raised hell and it turned into a metaphorical prison breakdown. I should’ve remembered what my king does, and that is not to raise hell to the person who didn’t deserve it. I also admire my king's interest in politics. He knows more about what’s going on with our country than I d...

  The word lucky happens once in a blue moon. Maybe it’s when you hit the jackpot and win 1 million dollars or when it’s just a regular Tuesday and your mother surprises you with the best meal of your life. Well, after 15 years of my life, I consider myself a lucky person, and it is not because I gained a limousine but because I finally found another family that shows me what love is. I’m even lucky when I am disappointed because I avoided heartache down the road. I even consider myself lucky since I still remember them for the memories and the time they took for me when it was possible to squash me like a bug. Some might see it as a weight seeing light at the end of the tunnel, but I consider it a fortune. It just may be a fortune cookie that means nothing. I also consider myself lucky since not everyone can be saved, and no one could’ve helped them, not even God could do it. I also consider it lucky that I got to a better place on my own without help and my realization that I cou...

  Today is a great day to go fishing in isolation. One reason I enjoy fishing in a body of water is the fresh air it provides—something that is impossible to breathe indoors. The open air is a supplement I grasp when the heat is booming. It is better when passing a track and seeing the Dirt Track Bandits . The country cannot go away from me. Although I’d prefer not getting dirt on me when the bandits drift, it is a pleasant sound to hear. It is my favorite noise to hear in commercials. The noise makes me powerful when most of the time I feel no strength in my blood. The open air is also the best bathroom. I’d rather pour my feces on grass than a toilet. I say this because when I did use a tree to squat, it was the most comfortable bathroom experience I’ve ever had. Outside is the best and worst place for romance too. Don’t believe me, watch Spider-Man or The Bridges of Madison County . It’s too bad my sensory issues block me from this scene coming to life. The open air comes wit...

  When people are around others, many emotions come into play. Happy. Anger. Intimidation. Fearful. These are emotions that multiple people perceive around me, but there is also a sense of admiration. After learning my story there, in the middle of a heartthrob, My definition of a heartthrob is applauding someone in their head. I am happy that people are seeing the times. I visited The Heartbreak Hotel, but to them, I visited me. I am a resident of The Heartbreak Hotel. There is some heartbreak going on in my heart at the same time. There is pride, but I also hate to say this, but there is vengeance. I have done everything in my power to let the grudges go, but how can you when they made me want to be in a boiler room instead of an outdoor picnic? They make me feel as if I am morbid to everyone around me. My heart was throbbing when I was close to singing Whiskey Lullabies to myself, despite knowing the alcoholism in my genes. This narrative did allow personal benefits because the ...

Hat #1:Grandson  The first hat I wear is a grandson's. They respect me every day. Even though one will become a ghost, I know that while there was not a similar personality, there was love and loyalty. I just hope his shadow ends in the Everlasting Arms. Although that question is unanswered, the one answer I will give is that he will not be hearing Marley’s chain. There was so much you could take from this man, and I did learn it, but the lessons were never understood. Seeing him sick made me hit rock bottom, but I took control to be happy by attempting to see what I do have. What I do have are three healthy grandparents. Two of the three grandparents showed that love is not blood but unbreakable bonds that make you feel fulfilled. I have carried this because a dramatic change that I made is that some of my blood is from the friends that gave me safety, which is a request that I have been wanting for 15 years. In retrospect, they were the friends I had in childhood. To one of the g...

  You thought you knew me. You NEVER DID! It is not only a piece of WWE Hall of Famer Edge’s theme song, but no one really knew me. What I really am is not what they saw. They saw a horse with a shattered limb. One can even argue that I had no leg at all. Everyone believed that they were the purpose, but everybody forgot to turn since there was a shark waiting to chomp. In 2018, I chomped on the meat that was flown down by a mysterious guardian angel. I still do not know who the guardian angel was. I’ve never said this to anyone, but I am now. During those 15 years of helplessness, I considered drinking illegally. I did not thank God, but it was still a close call. I thought if I went that route, I could pass out and sleep through the agony of walking down the hallway alone. It is a monster that is real. What no one thought of me was that I became so desperate that I was willing to be friends with the worst person and willing to accept deception in my life. I know this because it c...

  To Principals….   You have a job that involves leadership and discipline, but some children with autism and other conditions have behaviors that need to either be helped or excused since they cannot be helped. It would have infuriated me if my best friend was sent to the principal’s office and punished for "skipping class." There are behaviors that aren’t acceptable and need a consequence, but it is also the principal’s job to meet the student where they are. I believe everyone secretly has an IEP when they enter the principal’s office. Case in point: we have student A and student B. The one link they have is that they both have anger issues. Student A has the classic anger issues that are not destructive and harmful, but student A just rants, and the most harmful thing he does is small pouting, but student B is a whole new ballgame. Student B is destructive and is not afraid to knock Mamma out. He also has an IEP for emotional behavior. Are we really going to scream at h...

  I have zero sympathy for you! That is what Americans hear when we do not have any empathy. That could be my catchphrase because there have been cases where I did not have empathy. It is not me being mean; that is part of my dry personality, but because of the dryness, I have made smart remarks that were not needed. I do give "tough love," but it is not for the worst. I do it because I respect you enough to say that this is what is going to happen. All I want to do is protect you from escalating, but the escalators go up, and when they stop, they see that it is too late to go back down. Examining myself, I think part of the reason I lack empathy is because of my self-confidence. When I tell the truth, I can get pushy, and they do not always take it well, and my confidence level has been low for the majority of my life. I feel that I have to make it right, even if that means making enemies. Make your choice to take my advice, because there will be no beating around the bush. ...

When my friend and I were kids, we always thought we were part of an LBI (Love and Bullying Investigation). Looking back on it, this was something I needed to do for my social anxiety. What we would do is look at the situation and determine if two people had crushes or if a person was getting bullied and not realizing bullying was occurring. It resembled my life because some knew I was head over heels while others bullied me. Instead of "small  talk," it was small bullying." The first time I felt I was in a group was at the 2022 Podfest, where attendees gave me a chance to share the work but also to be genuine, and there was no faking. It is a feeling I will never forget. Each time I thought promotion was done, I kept having one good one left. For the first time, I was the fisherman reeling in fish. The sad part was that it was short-lived because I had to come home. There was no way to tie them up to my hips. Unfortunately, they had a life, but I wish I could go back to...

  There is a demon that does live in me, and while I have managed to keep my authority, he can still be a pain to put in a box. No one knows the sacrifices I make to live in society. One example is that I gave up the behavior of biting people to avoid getting judged. I question if that is too big of a sacrifice some days because when I wake up somedays, I wonder how I will prevail through today. School made me restless because I did not want to go at points because what I had to say would not matter to the person to my left. That view caused me to opt out of the prom. If I had a genie, a wish I would have is just one time for someone to hear a statement without dealing with the possibility of the view mattering. This was not planned to have autism, but just because the blueprint changed does not mean it has to be ripped up and thrown in the trash. Each person did not want to let me live my life. The majority wanted me to think that I am worthless, where I would not be known. I was ...

  I grew up in a place that is known for sugar cream pie and breaded tenderloins. My town is small, but I wouldn't change it because I get to live the way I wish. The way I wish is with freedom surrounded by hay bales that can make you itch. I see similar Southern traits in us, such as how Southern and Central Indiana love their sports and beer. This is true because downtown Bloomington, Indiana, is known for its dive bars. I will tell you that the women in rural Indiana know how to take care of their men. They see them as their soulmates who fly. The love is more than Jack and Diane's. Not all of this is real, though, since humans can be stupid with tenderness. There are some hillbillies who do not know how to handle warmth. Some fall because of that, but for people who earned trust, they have a community on their back. Unfortunately, first impressions here are permanent impressions as they determine who you are after you arrive in southern central Indiana. Parents here may no...

  Thought I Do I belong in the hood?  I wonder because of my mood My mood some days is a feeling of brood  Where I see others blood as food  There are two sides to me that the majority sees  My first side is a nonchalant lazy  The second is a happy crazy  I am still trying to even these sides in my complicated system  No one can handle  All they want to do is blow out the candle When I tried to make friends I always questioned did I do something incorrectly  Was I even wrong?  For the longest time I quit ringing the gong I tried to see the sun but it kept getting covered by the dark All I heard was animals bark  I never wanted to be dead  However I wanted to lay in bed  I just kept hearing was “gunshot lullabies”  The ceiling kept saying that there was nothing to do  I did disagree because I decided that if no one will give then I take  I used to have vacant on the port a potty  That changed in 201...