The 10 Thoughts

 Thought I

Do I belong in the hood? 

I wonder because of my mood

My mood some days is a feeling of brood 

Where I see others blood as food 

There are two sides to me that the majority sees 

My first side is a nonchalant lazy 

The second is a happy crazy 

I am still trying to even these sides in my complicated system 

No one can handle 

All they want to do is blow out the candle

When I tried to make friends I always questioned did I do something incorrectly 

Was I even wrong? 

For the longest time I quit ringing the gong

I tried to see the sun but it kept getting covered by the dark

All I heard was animals bark 

I never wanted to be dead 

However I wanted to lay in bed 

I just kept hearing was “gunshot lullabies” 

The ceiling kept saying that there was nothing to do 

I did disagree because I decided that if no one will give then I take 

I used to have vacant on the port a potty 

That changed in 2019 because the door turned into occupied

I still do live with my parents 

And I will be ready to make a grand disappearance 

Thought II 

Everyone saw me as a dummy 

I was seen as a mummy 

After sophomore year it started to change 

It shifted because when I opened the door 

People wanted me more 

I even wondered if I should take the walk 

Instead I chose to talk 

If I lose them though I do not care 

All that matters is I see I am a gem that is rare 

The sun does shine 

Everyone now wants to drink my wine 

I’m now just too sweet 

Some woman see that 

Others want to hit me with a baseball bat 

When it comes to women with me they like to play clue 

Then the feelings and thoughts are now stuck to me like glue 

Our heartbeats are not the same 

Everyone is playing your game 

I now am a river that flows 

It is lovely but once in a while it blows 

I now see a light that guides 

The light can make me collide 

Once the collision is done I wipe the dust 

And replace it with lust 

Everyone has a sanctuary

My sanctuary is professional wrestling 

Their is so much action with interaction 

I have this strange depression 

This depression consists of hanging with a female 

Then the next day feeling wanting one more night or day 

Please do not go yet and let me in 

Lots of people feel euphoria when they get a girl stuck in their head 

Not me after awhile I get mad because all they are doing is playing pretend 

I then leave with pleasure 

They no longer become treasure 

But no matter what they still deserve respect 

I am a man who like to gamble but not with money

I gamble in life 

It pays off because I’ve avoided tons of knives 

Fear blocked me for so long that I now throw the dart 

It works because I got to meet Joe Gatto and Chapel Hart 

I might have signed a deal with the devil to gain power 

Satan never reached me though because I still humble my army while having a tower 

I grabbed the spotlight 

As a result I get to go high in space and see starlight 

I do not get why society makes my life harder when I try to fight many wars 

It would be nice if they could give me some candy bars 

Others have thrown Tomahawks at me 

They can keep doing that because I’m not going to go away 

Thought III 

I made my choice that I will not drink 

I’ve seen what it can do first hand 

I’m not ending up briars 

It’s just adding fuel to the fires 

That and I have alcoholic desires 

Their is parts of me that are Southern 

One thing in the South is that you treat everyone like sisters and brothers 

I might have some dandruff 

It locks me in handcuffs 

What I do know is I easily break out of the cuffs because it is just a bluff 

My job can get exhausting 

But since I help out I easily am always defrosting 

I’ve tried to please people with poses

For what though? Roses 

I finally learned I do not need flowers 

Flowers will not make up for being Bowser 

It took some work 

Getting poked with forks and feeling like a helpless piece of pork 

Now I am one of the main dishes

Where I get to make wishes 

I started from the bottom only having the capability of finding acorns on the ground 

However I was able to gain full access to the tree after a pounding like a hound 

I wonder if their is Irish descent in my DNA because I am loud 

I do not fight but I can be very defensive and I refuse to be bound 

Everyone around me is on guard 

You do that I will reciprocate back 

I see this as a life hack 

My gut is bad 

I’d rather listen to my dad 

The gut I have is a liar 

Yet it gets me in a trap 

My gut has turned into a robot 

When I need to get away with a slingshot 

Turning tough on people is not easy 

I have pet peeves that I turn too rough on 

It has affected my family and my friends 

Their have been points where it has driven myself nuts 

Because I land in ruts 

I’m no longer someone's property 

I’ve become the charity 

I am now the driver and everyone else is just an accessory on my backseat 

I should not be here today 

Everyone thought I’d be living in a pile of sticks 

Try again 

I am now in a house with a heat stove 

Old parts have still stayed 

I sweat each time I see a girl 

It is just constant swirls and whirls 

It does not hold me down 

Because I still show up, make it and leave 

My services have a price 

You roll the dice 

Thought IV 

Is me going the extra mile worth it? 

I have days I question that

People think I stalk 

When in reality I just want to talk 

Christmas is a time of receiving a gift 

But I also drift

Love for me fades 

It goes from a Beyblade to a gernade 

Lots have great memories of school 

All I can remember is feeling like a fool 

I wished people drooled when I was cool 

I’ve been cut loose 

Then I get gifted with a noose 

They need to see that I am no moose 

Appreciate the inner beauty you might see in someone 

Examine the inside 

Because they might become your bride 

My greatness can be witnessed 

It is only to those who have earned the privilege 

My mind can get stuck 

Think of it when someone sees a buck 

If I ever did have a partner 

She might be a Gardner 

One of my great traits is I do know how to dance 

It makes ladies stand still in a stance 

Thought V 

I might be a bit quirky 

And that is no reason to judge

Who cares if someone eats soup without a spoon 

Or if they are fixated on the moon 

Some are black and white 

Others are complex 

“What is the annual interest rate?” 

It shows she may know math but might not know how to date 

I have my own skills 

But one is not doing bills 

It’s lead me potentially going to Brazil 

To those who have fiddled me I have the right to flaunt 

It is your turn to deal with a taunt 

And I hope it does haunt
A charm that I often use is genuine 

Even though when I talk I am full of adrenaline 

Money will never get to my head no matter the fame

Kim Kardashian should have shame 

The Dynamics are a groupies 

I watch them like movies 

Look at both sides 

What you receive might come with a bad ride 

What is a true man? 

A true man has patience 

While also having surveillance 

A man as well let’s his guard down 

Even in town 

Let’s be real boys are animals 

We think in the moment 

We want to punch our opponent 

Women can do the same though 

Because they have their lipstick 

And are more realistic 

Both sides though can be accepting and declining 

A key to getting through life is relaxation 

And forgetting about the population 

I do believe in that life is full of magic 

Biut it also has tragic 

I think we were all born with good spirits 

It is tested though when someone visits our limits 

Kids seem to fall in love with Winnie The Pooh 

I now see why it is because he is made of honey 

So does that make his personality sunny 

Teachers need more money 

No one gives teachers full appreciation 

They are supplying an education 

I’ve always wanted to go noodling 

So I can do some doodling 

I know a veteran who went through the Vietnam War 

I will say he made it far 

He had to eat rats and rice 

I bet their were also some mice 

My years of adulthood gets to come early

Because in December I will be at a club 

Trust me this is not a pub 

I do not need to talk 

My works speaks for me 

I have become a long pager 

Turning into one was a wager 

The wager worked because I have received admiration 

All because of gifting some information 

Thought VI 

Lots of those on the spectrum are savants 

We know our fonts 

It is priceless 

And not a crisis 

Some do not like to get loose 

We are like Batman 

Do what is right but are serious 

And hide in the dark that is mysterious 

We all want more love and more money 

I think we should be giving that to others

Whoever does that is the bigger person 

I’ve never been one to judge a relationship 

But when it becomes an addiction then it is a problem 

Does not getting involved in fishy situations hold me back? 

I think it does because when it comes to relationships I am alone 

My story might be different though if I did get involved 

The problem would then be solved 

I do not like to eat lunch

Because breakfast is a bunch 

I do well with needles 

It must be my experience with having to get poked 

When I dance I have my own rhythm 

Nobody as followed it yet 

I hate to sit still 

My legs become fill 

According to my family I look like my father 

We are both spicy like curry

And are warm and furry 

Both of us have love in our hearts 

But you would probably kill us with our farts 

People can be successful single 

While still having the option to mingle 

Single mothers does what is best for the child 

Even if it is a hard day the still smile 

Their enemy is finances 

Do they even have a chance? 

She even sacrifices time 

To only make a dime 

Thought VII 

My loyalty can not be tested 

When you collect the data 

The results will be one thousand percent 

If I lived in a tent I would never be late with my rent 

I would recommend with women to be careful in a bar

Unless they want to end up in a killer's car 

It will be more than your last night lonely 

Also be careful with putting yourself in a toxic 

The relationship will not be a ceremony 

She can go to a judge and win with her testimony 

Also ladies I would be careful when the lights are off 

Because your lights could go off 

I think it is healthy for new couples to let off some steam

It is only fair because it was their dream 

I like to try something new 

Because I leave with dew 

I believe in helping out prisoners' 

They can be a great listener 

Life is too precious to give up 

Others do not agree and have went to self-destruction 

We see it everyday 

Their mind and soul crashes 

While turning into ashes 

They believed it would be better to meet The Undertaker 

Some also turn into monsters 

They pinch like lobsters 

I do not see an issue with Polygamy 

If one truly loves multiple women or men  

I see him being honest and doing what is right 

For the longest time Jack and Jill never made sense 

Trying to understand it was intense 

My go to move used to be the disco 

Mine was a fresco 

Flying can be great with views 

Without the sights I’m stuck with the news 

Thought VIII 

Luck has been on my side lately 

I’ve gotten to develop many victories 

Each one makes my own legacy and personal histories 

I treat friends like family 

And happily 

Their are people who are trash

Some deserve to be slashed 

I do not see how they wash their hands 

They should bury themselves in the sand 

My depression takes me to a demonic place 

Sadly I erase my grace 

I do not wish my former friends death 

That being said I wish them hell 

They do not deserve to ring the bell 

I believe they need to rot in a cell 

My friends with me like to cheat 

And I get beat 

More have given me a kick 

Yet I still do not get sick 

Some of my former friends were just a clutch 

They were just a crunch 

I like to blend in with the different American cultures 

When I do this I am making my own sculpture 

Who cares if someone wears their clothes backwards? 

That stereotype is wrong 

I might have just made some enemies 

But why is it not an issue if they will not be on a documentary 

Lots of me like to solve a problem with a method called Over Drinkin And Under Thinkin 

That is the wrong method 

Because it will end with someone being threaded 

I wish people would more often get a real tip 

For serving us some grub and a sip 

Musician like to dance and swing 

It can work but bad swings sting 

I’m a fan of taking a trip 

I’ll even go on a ship 

People like to reel 

But be careful because the other person might not heel 

Thought IX 

I have always wondered who was Reuben James 

It is a nice name 

Those who like to manipulate are similar to artist doing a cover 

They respect them but hover 

Women look great in Daisy Dukes

It makes a man feelings nuke 

Rednecks I think are smart 

They are innovative with junk 

Rednecks could even build a comfortable bunk 

They are even like me with fashion 

Fashion equals no passion 

No woman likes a man that is arrogant 

It will not impress her much 

It does not make the partnership special 

A wrestling match is what it will become 

I do like The Big Bang Theory character Sheldon 

He is great and one arrogant character that everyone can fall in love with 

The greatest women cares less about looks 

She should accept that he wants to read books 

Love the way everyone is 

Even if they have some fishy traits 

It should not dictate 

She may not have dinner on the table 

But she will love the same cable 

Just because your parents failed at love 

It does not mean that the product will 

Good divorce parents cooperate for the child 

Even though the divorce can get wild 

It can be mild 

I will lay on my deathbed with no regrets 

Even though I might have to go to the grave with threats 

We all scream in silence 

It is the only way we know how to avoid conflict 

Easy is not always hard and hard is not always easy 

Times get dizzy and queasy 

My scars are not fake 

People made me a burnt cake 

Everyone has left me with a razor blade 

I know how to make sure they are in the shade 

I love the month of July 

But July can turn into December 

Sadly no one will remember 

Pretending your pain will make it worse 

It is time to go see a nurse 

It is possible to reverse your curse 

No one can wash my pain 

It will just come back in the form of rain 

The monsters come alive at night 

Trust me we do our best to fight 

We only see a dark alley with a ghost 

And we are roasting and becoming burnt toast 

I have accepted the fact that I will not be saved

All I know is the opportunity has been shaved 

Those on the spectrum select isolation 

It keeps us our sanity 

And it blocks us from the drama 

The only person that they might want is their mamma 

I see some of my manipulators having the worst future 

I wish to give them some money and therapy 

They need it for themselves 

Plus I want to shake their hand 

Just like their joining a band 

I thank them for hating me 

Because they did not break me 

They made me 

It is because of them I think Hallelujah I Am Not Dead each morning

Thought X 

Not everyone is worth my touch 

They do not deserve it 

I would say that I now like variety 

It helps me blend in society 

People tend to dance with their feet 

They do it anywhere even on the street 

Music keeps my composure 

I get it from “Joe Joe Dancer” 

Everyone has heard of stranger danger 

No one chooses to follow 

They then get stuck in a hollow 

My favorite candy is Tootsie Rolls 

They are made with love that includes chocolate 

This candy makes me want to empty my wallet 

No one should have to live The Raegan way 

I believe it leads to dark days 

Americans do not know how to compromise 

It is something as a country we need to optimize 

The biggest block for love is a window 

Tougher times are the widows 

Outer beauty makes me stand straight with manners 

Personally I am invested into the tanners 

Christmas was not a season for Sheldon 

He was too upset with his tortuous scars 

During this day he saw no Christmas stars 

No one has to stay in poverty 

What Americans can look at is your quality 

Poverty does also not mean sad 

It can mean happy 

Let’s look at Stevie Wonder 

He only had five dollars 

But he probably got tons of scholars 

Just do not get involved with the wrong crowd

Later in life someone will hear the incorrect sound 

Life gives us times where we can shake our body down to the ground 

I know it is the same for hounds 

I now have chosen to move forward 

It still feels awkward 

Those on the spectrum do not understand affection 

Or how to make a connection 

One of the cons of love is your mate knows your secrets 

She or he can make you want to create deep cuts 

I’ve had to take the whole world in my palm  

While I made some mends and bends 

I have just recently visited Nashville 

The city they call Music City 

I saw this town has pretty 

I have what I need 

Fancy Cadillacs and indoor pools is out 

Where I am at physically and mentally is my compound 

In 4th grade I was doing individual board games 

Now I am making flames