You Thought You Knew Me

 You thought you knew me. You NEVER DID! It is not only a piece of WWE Hall of Famer Edge’s theme song, but no one really knew me. What I really am is not what they saw. They saw a horse with a shattered limb. One can even argue that I had no leg at all. Everyone believed that they were the purpose, but everybody forgot to turn since there was a shark waiting to chomp. In 2018, I chomped on the meat that was flown down by a mysterious guardian angel. I still do not know who the guardian angel was. I’ve never said this to anyone, but I am now. During those 15 years of helplessness, I considered drinking illegally. I did not thank God, but it was still a close call. I thought if I went that route, I could pass out and sleep through the agony of walking down the hallway alone. It is a monster that is real. What no one thought of me was that I became so desperate that I was willing to be friends with the worst person and willing to accept deception in my life. I know this because it came true. I hung out with bad people for the majority of the population, but not for me. You might think that people text me first; sadly, that opinion is inaccurate. It's ALWAYS ME! For 21 years, I have never been given a "Hi, how are you?" text. Maybe I will when we can all wave through the phone. I wish I could have credit since I am terrified of the waves because they could be a "straw sipper." No one knows that my social anxiety is off the charts in places where I want to socialize, such as a concert, but cannot unless I want to be labeled a creeper. On the flipside, I thrive in places where I am not seen as a creep, such as expos or hotel pools. No one knew me when I was told rudely, "Please step back!" Money is powerful to Americans, and it can make Americans psychopaths, but what I do with my money is for my needs with little leisure. I do like to be dirty in the outdoors, where I am free-spirited. My life is a party filled with metaphorical bar fights and dancing. When I dance, I grow taller than the Empire State Building. Yeah! No one knew if I said, "Let me talk to you!" The arena would be filled with boos. I am always thankful for the cheers, but in the professional wrestling universe, I would be a better villain since I am used to the boos, and I would love to see how I could combat the insults and negative remarks after missing it for 15 years. Did you know that? I know no one knew that doing hay was a calming source. It was not only a country but also structured. I think anyone in the country is the one with the brains. They are because city people are buyers, but country people are creators. Did you know that I have never been drunk since I am scared I will continue the legacy of alcoholics in my family? My grandfather’s dad was affectionate but not intelligent. I do acknowledge that he was affectionate, but my morals make it a necessity to have both. Every 4th of July, my sparkles rose up when I got to socialize with my family, who carry the issues with me instead of against me. Did you know that I visited hell before I died? I did not only stop by; I stayed the night for 15 years. Did you know that while I do not follow devils, I go to him for guidance? I do because they saved me from having a tortuous life. When I embraced the dark side, my heart was still golden with a little black around it. My heart might be black, but 90% of it is still gold, with the traits of a real man. The real man traits that I still have include being a man of my word, not intentionally hurting your feelings, abandoning you, and providing for a family. If you can exhibit the "real man" traits, I do not see an issue with having venom in your heart. You thought that you knew that I sat on the sidelines and did not do anything. While I still sit on the sidelines, I wait to get it while I can. My life is not all planned. I also handle spontaneous events so much better. It is an accomplishment that makes me smile when I could still be the child crying at a Disneyland surprise. The dark side is the creator of "The Return of the Mack." Did you know that? You thought you knew I would be Oscar. The Trash puppet, but I am not any longer. I can shine in public, but the trash is what I’ve been thrown into, and it is because of what you thought you knew that it has been thrown in the trash a day at the office. However, in my world today, if you throw me in the trash, I am taking you with me because, at the end of the day, you lose. What breaks my heart is that I could have been trapped in the dumpster filled with beer cans without a bartender. You thought you knew that I was worth jabbing in the back with pencils, but I turned my trash into a purpose with 15K downloads. You thought you knew that this would make me happy, but it makes my mental health better, but I still reside in the black hole. I just hope one lady will join me in the black hole and understand why we cannot have light. I made my home with a job and friends only people wish they could have. The best part is that when I need to fold the car and be alone, I can do that without opening up the car and seeing everyone leave the party. You thought you knew that I was quiet and timid. Believe it or not, what you know is partially correct because, in some big places with tons of people, I am a bit fearful, even though I still make it tolerable. Give me a place that has minimal people or where I have control, such as a Karaoke stage where you will meet someone on the opposite end of the line. I do not care what you do when I am on the karaoke stage. The choice of being with me or looking the other way is up to the audience member. As AC/DC said, I’m "livin easy." You thought you knew I would never see a celebrity at the airport. Talk to Michael Hayes, because he did see that I was there. I was never asking for a photo; I just wanted a stare. You thought you knew that I might be great in The Wild West, but I would if speaking to someone was an option. The Wild West language confuses me too much. I’d be the first in town to get shot at for saying the wrong comment to the incorrect person, and I would not have any time to explain myself. It would be a cold-blooded kill that everyone would celebrate. If I were a ring in The Wild West, no one would wear it. I would be sold day after day. You thought you knew that my world was a disassembled mirror, but I put the mirror back together, and in 2018, for the first time, I saw a person who knew himself and would defend his character if required. Although I will boogie down with someone, do you know that I am scared out of my pants? They might just want to dance, but there is a slim percentage that is not interested in dancing, so they can dump me in the woods. I do not understand why, since there are no attractive looks. If I was in a Cadillac, they would just jump in because of the car. The car would be the lucky one that night. The Cadiliac might have thirty days of worth if the car goes to Las Vegas. You thought you knew that I would be at home 24/7 with "no particular place to go." Try again because I hung out with two friends in the same week. To me, that demonstrates the life of people actually wanting you who are not blood. They do not want me to walk off, and while I cannot trust you 100%, I am thankful that they are in my alliance. They don’t judge me if I choose to dance like Elvis to Chuck Berry music. They could look puzzled since the environment does not match the social aspect of the place. To end, I ask again: You thought you knew me?