My Demon

-

 There is a demon that does live in me, and while I have managed to keep my authority, he can still be a pain to put in a box. No one knows the sacrifices I make to live in society. One example is that I gave up the behavior of biting people to avoid getting judged. I question if that is too big of a sacrifice some days because when I wake up somedays, I wonder how I will prevail through today. School made me restless because I did not want to go at points because what I had to say would not matter to the person to my left. That view caused me to opt out of the prom. If I had a genie, a wish I would have is just one time for someone to hear a statement without dealing with the possibility of the view mattering. This was not planned to have autism, but just because the blueprint changed does not mean it has to be ripped up and thrown in the trash. Each person did not want to let me live my life. The majority wanted me to think that I am worthless, where I would not be known. I was never supposed to be in Canada or make $500 a month. After all of this success, you would think I would let the demon go, but I cannot do it. The demon is almost my wise man. He keeps a lid on the resentment that I do have. We are a tag team and do not back down from an underestimation. My demon has given me a fire in my soul that motivates me to hop out of bed and do something that makes me feel accomplished. My question now is, if my demon can be useful, how is he detrimental? The demon does want me to live a Rockstar lifestyle like AC/DC and Nirvana probably did, but my moral ground is way too big for that lifestyle, and the demon does understand how I was raised. People say that I affect them, but I do not see why; I just see it as my personality. I guess it is because I have a charm with others. What is funny is that I did not think I had the charm, but here we are today. It is even funnier when I think of my story with fireworks. He went from hiding in the basement playing Wii Play to now being a pyromaniac. In my opinion, pyro is now a requirement if someone wants to put on a good show. I will say that while I am not for a rock and roll lifestyle, I am for a rock and roll environment. The pyrotechnics going off and the loud music where you are headbanging are at my place. While it is fun, there is a serious side to why I like headbanging, and that is because when we are headbanging or hearing it, no one is being mean; they just care about having fun and who they are going to headbang with. In life, the best way to leave a legacy is to make memories with your peers, because that is how someone will be remembered. Now you can appear on America’s Got Talent, but I think that to earn respect, you at least need to have a positive attitude. The demon has actually shown me how to have a blast with people but has also given me the line between what is right and wrong during the party. I do enjoy party music because I like to move around and dance. That is probably because of my ADHD. It hurts to stand or sit still, but it is looked down upon if you dance while speaking to someone. I have thought of using alcohol to solve my problems, but the demon keeps me from drinking so I can solve them with realism and authenticity. My demons have shown me to like what you like, even if you're the only one in the cage. Duke Tumatoe does get listened to on headphones, but it is only with me, and I am proud to say that.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Autism Presented in a Closet

-
Autism Presented in a Closet A story about triumph - kind of By Sam Mitchell When you open a closet, you see many items, such as fancy heels and men's buttoned-up shirts. That is nothing compared to what is in my closet. Each shelf is made of light and darkness. One shelf has a music therapy shelf. It has many pieces of music that have helped me cope, from Jailhouse Rock by Elvis Presley to Legacy by Eminem. In the closet, there are so many bins of comments that have haunted me that I still have night terrors from them. However, I’ve learned it is time to stop caring and to throw the comments in the garbage. You must accept yourself and your hobbies, no matter what they are, from the most practical to the most unusual. In my closet, you are accepted no matter if you are straight or even have purple skin. You are welcomed with open arms in my closet. It may seem trashy because of the pain, but my pain has created the most amazing picture that I’ve ever seen. Each time I say or do so...
Read more

Self Help

-
When everyone needs help, Americans go to someone or something. Not this American though, he only attends himself for help because I only know how I process information. I’ve wondered if simply going to me helps. The answer is a mix, because sometimes I do need someone, I am just too stubborn to admit the necessity. The reason is that I want to try to solve the issue on my own, and I will not stop until the problem is resolved. I never let the worry go, the reason being I choose not to let the difficulty sit and boil. Problems need to be solved at that moment, so no one can hold a grudge with the problem being able to fall off the table. I am the only man that can pull myself out of the dark hole that I did or did not make. I know I am worthy of help from someone, but half the time I can not trust them due to the past I have lived through. It is sad, and I wish others understood that it is not the people who I will meet in the future’s fault, but it is the ones who have used me in the ...
Read more

Heartthrob

-
  When people are around others, many emotions come into play. Happy. Anger. Intimidation. Fearful. These are emotions that multiple people perceive around me, but there is also a sense of admiration. After learning my story there, in the middle of a heartthrob, My definition of a heartthrob is applauding someone in their head. I am happy that people are seeing the times. I visited The Heartbreak Hotel, but to them, I visited me. I am a resident of The Heartbreak Hotel. There is some heartbreak going on in my heart at the same time. There is pride, but I also hate to say this, but there is vengeance. I have done everything in my power to let the grudges go, but how can you when they made me want to be in a boiler room instead of an outdoor picnic? They make me feel as if I am morbid to everyone around me. My heart was throbbing when I was close to singing Whiskey Lullabies to myself, despite knowing the alcoholism in my genes. This narrative did allow personal benefits because the ...
Read more