Feel Me in Your Presence

-

If anyone is reading this, please let me know. Are you aware of my presence? I admire your honesty if you say no, but if you say yes, then you are wrong. If I were in your existence, why was I abandoned? Why am I treated like a silver medal instead of a gold medal? Even though I have done everything in my power to become noticed, I have been overlooked throughout my life. Even though I have accepted that feeling, I still enjoy every moment because I get to prove everyone wrong with a sense of accomplishment. Starting to feel positives is weird in so many unexplainable ways, and I am just getting started. You can make your presence in your way by being different and doing your own thing, which is the best part of where I live. I believe I am strong in the fact that no act can change how I am. That being said, sometimes, my pride gets the best of me. I can't stop trying to be in the presence of another human because of this attachment. Many have turned me down because I am on the spectrum. It's a heavy load to carry, but I want that freight train to hit me so it will crash. In my opinion, the destruction will be so beautiful because the load on the train will spill, and then everyone may see beyond what they are seeing if someone is differently-abled. If you choose not to know that we are here, you are squeezing the peach more, making us holler, I'm here! Here I am! Hi! I'm here! TELL ME SOMETHING! I think others saw magic as the peach returned to its original orange and yellow color.The core is no longer visible. Our world might be out of balance with us, like cowboys and aliens. What keeps us from just getting along without paying attention to society. Despite having an army behind me and titanium on me, it is hidden. As a result, I get to have the element of surprise. No one except me can see the titanium building, and that is a secret that the titanium cannot reveal. As I wrote in my previous blog, Becoming a Monster, I am a titanium monster, but can't monsters have a partner in crime as well. I admit I do have help, but I also designed my empire on my own. I did not choose this. I visualize in a way that makes a difference. This was a shocking decision, but I wonder if I am still worthy of being an inspiration. Unfortunately, I do not believe in karma, but vengeance instead. The word payback is in my vocabulary. At the same time, I am starting to enjoy the bullets in an odd way. According to a previous podcast episode, I said, "The bullets turn into pellets." I am adding that the pellets turn into food. When someone shuns me, it's as painful as getting inked. They like the design after the mental disturbance is over. I cherish the agony of rejection after it has passed. Is it possible that others who are not alive are aware of me? Is it possible for me to be a Ghost Rider in the sky? Ghost rider flies by like a cloud in the sky? So I can say that I am a floating cloud that no one pays much attention to. Could that be the reason why I get along so well with animals? Animals suffer pain from everyone. Perhaps I am somewhat of a flying gnat, but I bite for better reasons. I have always believed that you should work hard and play harder. Now that I've done the work, let me ask when it will pay off since I hear only mental boos. When I don't feel noticed in someone's journey for a split second, I only hear the boo's. Only now do I understand how to handle boos and react to them. I hope to learn how to respond to cheers one day. Therefore, I'm done caring so knock me down. Only my opinion makes me happy. Thank you for bringing out my dark side, as sad as it is. I appreciate you teaching me that backstabbing losers never win. There is no doubt that freaks win, but we shouldn't assume that just because we look different, we have an animal inside that drives us to succeed. The clothes you wear do not determine my views on you. Instead, I judge you based on what you do. I'll ask one last time before I end. Is my presence felt in your presence?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My 10 Hats

-
Hat #1:Grandson  The first hat I wear is a grandson's. They respect me every day. Even though one will become a ghost, I know that while there was not a similar personality, there was love and loyalty. I just hope his shadow ends in the Everlasting Arms. Although that question is unanswered, the one answer I will give is that he will not be hearing Marley’s chain. There was so much you could take from this man, and I did learn it, but the lessons were never understood. Seeing him sick made me hit rock bottom, but I took control to be happy by attempting to see what I do have. What I do have are three healthy grandparents. Two of the three grandparents showed that love is not blood but unbreakable bonds that make you feel fulfilled. I have carried this because a dramatic change that I made is that some of my blood is from the friends that gave me safety, which is a request that I have been wanting for 15 years. In retrospect, they were the friends I had in childhood. To one of the g
Read more

To....

-
  To Principals….   You have a job that involves leadership and discipline, but some children with autism and other conditions have behaviors that need to either be helped or excused since they cannot be helped. It would have infuriated me if my best friend was sent to the principal’s office and punished for "skipping class." There are behaviors that aren’t acceptable and need a consequence, but it is also the principal’s job to meet the student where they are. I believe everyone secretly has an IEP when they enter the principal’s office. Case in point: we have student A and student B. The one link they have is that they both have anger issues. Student A has the classic anger issues that are not destructive and harmful, but student A just rants, and the most harmful thing he does is small pouting, but student B is a whole new ballgame. Student B is destructive and is not afraid to knock Mamma out. He also has an IEP for emotional behavior. Are we really going to scream at h
Read more

Autism Presented in a Closet

-
Autism Presented in a Closet A story about triumph - kind of By Sam Mitchell When you open a closet, you see many items, such as fancy heels and men's buttoned-up shirts. That is nothing compared to what is in my closet. Each shelf is made of light and darkness. One shelf has a music therapy shelf. It has many pieces of music that have helped me cope, from Jailhouse Rock by Elvis Presley to Legacy by Eminem. In the closet, there are so many bins of comments that have haunted me that I still have night terrors from them. However, I’ve learned it is time to stop caring and to throw the comments in the garbage. You must accept yourself and your hobbies, no matter what they are, from the most practical to the most unusual. In my closet, you are accepted no matter if you are straight or even have purple skin. You are welcomed with open arms in my closet. It may seem trashy because of the pain, but my pain has created the most amazing picture that I’ve ever seen. Each time I say or do so
Read more