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Showing posts from March, 2023

No Empathy

  I have zero sympathy for you! That is what Americans hear when we do not have any empathy. That could be my catchphrase because there have been cases where I did not have empathy. It is not me being mean; that is part of my dry personality, but because of the dryness, I have made smart remarks that were not needed. I do give "tough love," but it is not for the worst. I do it because I respect you enough to say that this is what is going to happen. All I want to do is protect you from escalating, but the escalators go up, and when they stop, they see that it is too late to go back down. Examining myself, I think part of the reason I lack empathy is because of my self-confidence. When I tell the truth, I can get pushy, and they do not always take it well, and my confidence level has been low for the majority of my life. I feel that I have to make it right, even if that means making enemies. Make your choice to take my advice, because there will be no beating around the bush. ...

The Podfest Feeling

When my friend and I were kids, we always thought we were part of an LBI (Love and Bullying Investigation). Looking back on it, this was something I needed to do for my social anxiety. What we would do is look at the situation and determine if two people had crushes or if a person was getting bullied and not realizing bullying was occurring. It resembled my life because some knew I was head over heels while others bullied me. Instead of "small  talk," it was small bullying." The first time I felt I was in a group was at the 2022 Podfest, where attendees gave me a chance to share the work but also to be genuine, and there was no faking. It is a feeling I will never forget. Each time I thought promotion was done, I kept having one good one left. For the first time, I was the fisherman reeling in fish. The sad part was that it was short-lived because I had to come home. There was no way to tie them up to my hips. Unfortunately, they had a life, but I wish I could go back to...

My Demon

  There is a demon that does live in me, and while I have managed to keep my authority, he can still be a pain to put in a box. No one knows the sacrifices I make to live in society. One example is that I gave up the behavior of biting people to avoid getting judged. I question if that is too big of a sacrifice some days because when I wake up somedays, I wonder how I will prevail through today. School made me restless because I did not want to go at points because what I had to say would not matter to the person to my left. That view caused me to opt out of the prom. If I had a genie, a wish I would have is just one time for someone to hear a statement without dealing with the possibility of the view mattering. This was not planned to have autism, but just because the blueprint changed does not mean it has to be ripped up and thrown in the trash. Each person did not want to let me live my life. The majority wanted me to think that I am worthless, where I would not be known. I was ...

Living In Greene County

  I grew up in a place that is known for sugar cream pie and breaded tenderloins. My town is small, but I wouldn't change it because I get to live the way I wish. The way I wish is with freedom surrounded by hay bales that can make you itch. I see similar Southern traits in us, such as how Southern and Central Indiana love their sports and beer. This is true because downtown Bloomington, Indiana, is known for its dive bars. I will tell you that the women in rural Indiana know how to take care of their men. They see them as their soulmates who fly. The love is more than Jack and Diane's. Not all of this is real, though, since humans can be stupid with tenderness. There are some hillbillies who do not know how to handle warmth. Some fall because of that, but for people who earned trust, they have a community on their back. Unfortunately, first impressions here are permanent impressions as they determine who you are after you arrive in southern central Indiana. Parents here may no...