Hidden Resentment

-

 Let me ask everyone this question: what is your past? Is your specific past associated with emotions such as happiness or sadness? For me, the past is associated with pain and self-inflicted punishment. My sentence started after birth. It started because I had a family that stated, "I was unpredictable." While my family was great back then, they did not know what they unintentionally misunderstood. This honestly started the story of an Indiana boy who has and is experiencing the harmful but also helpful path of becoming an accepted human being and not being a person who is based on their background. The hurtful side includes me having to feel the wrath of society and the blaze that society puts on me makes me continuously lose body heat and this hidden injury makes me boil. The anger that I cannot present is hurtful, and the discomfort that I feel makes me want to scream, "Why?" Why is this agony put on me? The harm that has been given to me is like a thousand needles that have been turned into one big shot. That being said, I am glad this needle has been inserted into me. The reason I am happy is that I get to see the true meaning of happiness. I finally get to fly like a vulture and hunt anyone who tries to turn me back into prey. The bridge has officially been built, and I, and others, can cross it to see the value they individually possess. While I know that the pain I feature is gone, it is not long gone. I can not forget about it because it is truly where I came from. The question is, do I look the past in the eye and face the misery I suffered? The answer is no because while it is a wound, it is a scar I cannot lose due to the reminder of the ache. When I see the trauma, it puts in my head the motivation to not go back to who I once was. While I know the old me is dead, the old me does have its respects he can... rest in peace! Now that I know the old me is at peace, I feel free and I get to have the feeling of having true freedom. I now have the soreness and tenderness I felt while having Dr. Seuss books by my side. I now have the guidance to feel the adrenaline while firing his powerful bullets.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Autism Presented in a Closet

-
Autism Presented in a Closet A story about triumph - kind of By Sam Mitchell When you open a closet, you see many items, such as fancy heels and men's buttoned-up shirts. That is nothing compared to what is in my closet. Each shelf is made of light and darkness. One shelf has a music therapy shelf. It has many pieces of music that have helped me cope, from Jailhouse Rock by Elvis Presley to Legacy by Eminem. In the closet, there are so many bins of comments that have haunted me that I still have night terrors from them. However, I’ve learned it is time to stop caring and to throw the comments in the garbage. You must accept yourself and your hobbies, no matter what they are, from the most practical to the most unusual. In my closet, you are accepted no matter if you are straight or even have purple skin. You are welcomed with open arms in my closet. It may seem trashy because of the pain, but my pain has created the most amazing picture that I’ve ever seen. Each time I say or do so...
Read more

Self Help

-
When everyone needs help, Americans go to someone or something. Not this American though, he only attends himself for help because I only know how I process information. I’ve wondered if simply going to me helps. The answer is a mix, because sometimes I do need someone, I am just too stubborn to admit the necessity. The reason is that I want to try to solve the issue on my own, and I will not stop until the problem is resolved. I never let the worry go, the reason being I choose not to let the difficulty sit and boil. Problems need to be solved at that moment, so no one can hold a grudge with the problem being able to fall off the table. I am the only man that can pull myself out of the dark hole that I did or did not make. I know I am worthy of help from someone, but half the time I can not trust them due to the past I have lived through. It is sad, and I wish others understood that it is not the people who I will meet in the future’s fault, but it is the ones who have used me in the ...
Read more

Heartthrob

-
  When people are around others, many emotions come into play. Happy. Anger. Intimidation. Fearful. These are emotions that multiple people perceive around me, but there is also a sense of admiration. After learning my story there, in the middle of a heartthrob, My definition of a heartthrob is applauding someone in their head. I am happy that people are seeing the times. I visited The Heartbreak Hotel, but to them, I visited me. I am a resident of The Heartbreak Hotel. There is some heartbreak going on in my heart at the same time. There is pride, but I also hate to say this, but there is vengeance. I have done everything in my power to let the grudges go, but how can you when they made me want to be in a boiler room instead of an outdoor picnic? They make me feel as if I am morbid to everyone around me. My heart was throbbing when I was close to singing Whiskey Lullabies to myself, despite knowing the alcoholism in my genes. This narrative did allow personal benefits because the ...
Read more